I never gambled — or really knew much about it — until a friend suggested we go out and gamble for fun. We were both looking for a way to escape our hurts. I had just gotten divorced from an alcoholic husband and my friend had recently become a widower. I also suffered depression associated with MS, and a gambling outing helped me escape that.
Gambling allowed us to forget about everything. I didn’t have to talk to anyone. I started with maybe $60 per outing but
it escalated. Eventually, I couldn’t stop. I would always need another $100 bill. My friend (who later became my second husband) could sometimes go home making a few hundred dollars, but I never could.
I would gamble for any reason — to celebrate a good day or to help raise my spirits from a bad day. Eventually, after 11 years of gambling, I started thinking I had a gambling problem. I told my husband that I thought I had a problem, but he didn’t believe me. Neither did my in-laws, whose vacations frequently included considerable amounts of gambling.
Once I determined I needed help to keep me from gambling, I explored options. I was hesitant to join a group because I had a poor experience with Al-Anon back when I sought ways to cope with my then- husband’s alcoholism.
I ultimately found a program online that I ordered for $99. I figured I could do the program in the privacy of my own home and figured it had to have value given its cost.
Unfortunately, not being particularly savvy with computers, I needed help setting up the program. I didn’t expect that the person I would call for computer help would be a therapist, but that’s what happened. The person I ended up talking to, Dawn, would become the therapist who would lead me out of the darkness of gambling addiction.
After helping get the program set up, Dawn gently asked some additional questions. Why did I want the program? How serious was I? Had I looked into alternatives? Dawn then said she would check on me in a few weeks to see how I was doing. That started us down the path of telephone counseling, something she was able to get covered by insurance.
I really connected with Dawn, and found myself wanting to follow the program because I didn’t want to disappoint her. She was also the first therapist I had who knew anything about gambling and could explore the connection between gambling and depression.
One thing that I’ve learned about gambling addiction that’s different from other addictions is the randomness of the reward. Someone who drinks or uses drugs knows the impact it will have on them — they will get drunk or high. But gambling is so unpredictable. You could do five spins and win hundreds or lose hundreds. That unpredictability is something gambling addicts love.
I am doing well in my recovery. I lost my second husband to cancer but have not gone back to gambling. I have worked too hard to throw away my freedom from gambling.
COVID, and the related restrictions, has also actually helped me. Even when things reopened, my husband and I were too afraid to go back to the casinos.
As part of my recovery, I told my adult children about my gambling problem. That was a big deal to me. It feels so good to spend the money that I previously spent on gambling on my children and grandchildren instead. I take them out for dinner, get them birthday gifts and spend more time with them. That, not gambling, now means the world to me.
This spring NPGA is offering its inaugural International Gambling Counselor Certification Board (IGCCB) clergy/spiritual leader training. We seek to expand outreach throughout Minnesota and among community groups that don’t necessarily see counseling/treatment as their first step towards help. The goal of the program is to increase the knowledge and equip influential community leaders with some basic understanding of problem gambling. The program provides spiritual leaders an opportunity to interact with each other as they seek to increase their community’s awareness of the issue of problem gambling, reduce any stigma related to problem gambling and facilitate discussions about ways in which harm can be minimized.
As part of this initial training, eight leaders from the Twin Cities Nigerian community will learn about gambling disorder, who it impacts, available resources, and how to engage in conversations that help those impacted as well as educating their congregations and community groups.
Each of the eight individuals will take 16 hours of online course work in the following eleven modules:
Definitions and Diagnostic Criteria
Special Populations and Gambling Disorders: Women and Multicultural
Scope and Prevalence of Disordered Gambling
Assessing Gambling Disorder
Co-Occurring Disorders and Gambling Disorders
Screening for Gambling Disorder and Impacts of Gambling
Best Practices and Evidence-Based Strategies for Treatment of Gambling Disorder: Motivational Interviewing
Family Intervention
Financial Issues and the Meaning of Money
Neurobiology and Psychopharmacology
Special Populations and Gambling Disorders: Youth and Older Adults
In early May, the group convened on Zoom with a trained spiritual facilitator to discuss possible scenarios and ways they can engage their community member in a meaningful and resourceful way. Those who completed the full 24 hours will receive a certificate of completion. The IGCCB offers an actual certification that can be obtained by doing additional community project work, but for this inaugural program NPGA opted for the certificate. We will revisit this once we’re well past the restrictions of COVID.
Washington, DC – The National Council on Problem Gambling (NCPG) is pleased to announce the launch of ‘Operation Responsible Gambling,’ supported by Entain Foundation US and RG24seven. Operation Responsible Gambling (OpRG) is designed to assist members of the military community in gambling responsibly, and also to ensure they have options to seek help if they show signs of gambling problems.
Keith Whyte, NCPG Executive Director, stated, “We know that active-duty personnel and veterans face higher risks for gambling problems so Operation Responsible Gambling provides access to help, information and veterans’ video testimonials aimed specially at the military community. The information will be available on social media and a micro-website.” The first two videos feature stories from veterans in their own words, talking about their gambling issues during their service and the road to recovery through the Veterans Administration gambling services.
Whyte continued, “The research is clear that members of the military community are at higher risk for gambling problems, yet military community members may not know what to do or where to go. We want to make sure they know there is hope and help available.”
Operation Responsible Gambling is funded by a donation from Entain Foundation US. Martin Lycka, Entain’s Senior Vice President for American Regulatory Affairs and Responsible Gambling and Trustee of the Entain Foundation US, said, “Entain offers the most comprehensive services for at-risk gamblers around the world. We see a special obligation to active-duty members and military veterans who volunteer to serve their country, often in far-away places and in dangerous circumstances. We want to help ensure that their gambling entertainment is fun and safe with the knowledge that there are experts and services available to help if they have a problem.”
RG24seven provided in-kind production and technical support for the videos and overall project. RG24seven CEO Wendy Anderson stated, “We are honored to be helping to provide responsible gambling education to those who put their lives on the line to protect us.”
Richard Taylor, Jr., chair of the NCPG Military Committee, said, “As a Marine veteran and Responsible Gambling Program Manager for BetMGM, I’m excited to lend my personal and professional experience to this important project. It’s critical that we provide our military community with the education and tools they need to make the right choices when it comes to gambling.”
You can learn more about this initiative by signing up to watch the “Operation Responsible Gambling” webinar that will be held at 1:00 pm EDT on Tuesday, May 18. It will feature Whyte, Anderson, Lycka and Taylor. NCPG member and non-members can register here.
Go to www.OperationResponsibleGambling.org to view the video testimonials and to find information and help on the risks for gambling problems in the military community.
About the National Council on Problem Gambling
Based in Washington DC, the National Council on Problem Gambling is the only national nonprofit organization that seeks to minimize the economic and social costs associated with gambling addiction by working with all stakeholders. NCPG is neutral on legalized gambling. If gambling becomes a problem, NCPG urges people who gamble, as well as their loved ones, to contact the National Problem Gambling Helpline, which offers hope and help without judgment or shame. If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, call or text 1-800-522-4700 or visit www.ncpgambling.org/chat. Help is available 24/7 – it is free, anonymous and confidential.
The Entain Foundation US is a first-of-its-kind non-profit organization dedicated to promoting responsible gambling, sports integrity and corporate compliance in the U.S. The Foundation was launched in 2019 by the Entain Global Foundation and the Entain Group.
RG24Seven is the industry’s leading, certified, online, interactive Responsible Gaming training. The training is supported by world class experts and driven by a team of innovative course designers. For more information, please visit www.RG24seven.com.
I’m in the process of determining my future. Given what I’ve learned about myself and the relationship between trauma and the ways in which we deal with it, I’ve given thought to taking a smart recovery position outside of St. Cloud.
After my deployment was over, I was faced with the challenge of trying to somehow match that excitement and high-tempo routine.
It’s hard to replicate the adrenalin rush that one gets working in the military. For me, nothing can match the sense of doing something dangerous, and doing something dangerous for a purpose.
In my role with the Navy, I was among the boots on the ground in the Middle East. I saw the effects of war and came home with a darkness inside me that so many other veterans have experienced.
After my deployment was over, I was faced with the challenge of trying to somehow match that excitement and high-tempo routine. Of course there is no substitute in civilian life for what I did while with the Navy, but I tried to find it.
The closest I could come was gambling. It offered me some of the same aspects of life in the Navy: adrenalin, something to engage in, and a form of escapism. It’s only recently that I’ve begun to understand the connection and similarity between the highs of gambling and my life in the Navy.
My gambling started in a very casual way. I remember taking a long drive into the mountains when I was based in the Washington, DC, area. I ended up at a casino in West Virginia by complete accident. I enjoyed myself and it was simply fun recreation.
My gambling didn’t really become a problem until I left the Navy in 2006. I started going two to three times a week and it was my only real outlet. It became my social pastime.
I continued to gamble for much of the next ten years. But things really went off the rail in 2016, when I was a taxi driver and made frequent stops at a casino in the small town where I lived. Rather than wait for the phone to ring to transport passengers from the casino, I would end up inside the casino spending all the money I earned that day. Things got very bad and life felt hopeless.
At this point, I knew I had a problem. But I wasn’t sure that anything could be done about it, nor did I know how I could actually get help.
Then an unexpected thing happened. While on Instagram, I was viewing photos from an old Navy colleague. I didn’t recognize the buildings in his photos and decided to message him to learn more. He told me they were from Minneapolis. When I asked, “Why Minneapolis?” he explained that he was in Minnesota after getting out of a VA rehab facility in St. Cloud.
When we eventually talked—for the first time in about 10 years—it all started making sense. I knew him personally and knew about his dangerous streak, so hearing that he was in rehab made sense. I also saw many parallels to my story. I asked him questions about the process and then obtained the link for the VA facility that could help me.
As soon as I got off the phone, I started packing my car. I drove three days to make it to St. Cloud from the west coast. I didn’t even call ahead of time and walked right to the urgent care desk and said, “I need help.” I was feeling suicidal and couldn’t take no for an answer.
When I got to St. Cloud, I told the doctor that in addition to a problem with drug and alcohol addiction I also had a gambling problem. I was placed in a residential treatment program on July 14 with a dual addiction diagnosis and stayed for 60 days. Until then, I didn’t know that treatment programs like this existed.
A part of the program involved cognitive behavioral therapy. During these sessions, I gained a better understanding of how my actions were related to the trauma I suffered in the Navy and how the things I did were efforts to try to deal with that trauma. When you get into a program like this, you see the bigger picture. More importantly, you see that this addiction can be managed and that it can be cured.
I’m trying to start anew in a place where I have no routine connected with gambling and where there is no casino in town. I’m living in the House of Charity in Minneapolis and am following through with my aftercare, including meeting with a therapist to keep me on my path.
. . . when I was a taxi driver and made frequent stops at a casino in the small town where I lived. . . I would end up inside the casino spending all the money I earned that day. Things got very bad and life felt hopeless.
I’m in the process of determining my future. Given what I’ve learned about myself and the relationship between trauma and the ways in which we deal with it, I’ve given thought to taking a smart recovery position outside of St. Cloud, something that would require a certification program. From past experience, I realize that I have to feel fulfilled in my occupation or it won’t work.
I’m prepared for this to be a long, slow process. But that’s OK. It’s taken me a long time to get to this point and I realize how important it was for me to get there.
By Bill Stein for Northstar Problem Gambling Alliance
Maria suspected something was going on with her husband but didn’t know what. He was taking many phone calls behind closed doors. He often seemed frantic to intercept the mailman before the mail was delivered to their house. And his interest in the outcome of various sporting events seemed to intensify in the last few months. What could be going on?
It was only after the bank threatened to foreclose on their house did Maria learn that her husband had a sports gambling addiction that drained their finances. Until then, she didn’t know that such a condition existed and assumed people just gambled with money they could afford.
Unfortunately, Maria’s predicament is not uncommon. Indeed, the plight of the concerned others of a problem gambler — which could be friends, coworkers or various family members — can be very challenging. The more they can learn about this poorly understood addiction, the better they can cope for themselves.
Signs of Problem Gambling
The first thing that can help concerned others who have a vague notion that something is going on with their family member, spouse or friend is to learn the signs of gambling addiction. Some of the more common indications of an underlying gambling problem include increased frequency of gambling, increased amount of money gambled, gambling for longer periods of time than planned, bragging about wins but not saying anything about losses, pressuring others for money as financial problems arise, lying about how money is spent, escaping to other excesses (alcohol, drugs, sleep, etc.) and denying there is a problem. Additional signs of problem gambling may include frequent absences from home and work, excessive phone use, withdrawal from family, personality changes (such as increased irritability and hostility) and diversion of family funds. It’s also important to realize that problem gambling can affect anyone regardless of race, culture, sex and financial standing.
Gambling Addiction is often a Co-Occurring Addiction
Comorbidity is the term used to describe the existence of concurrent disorders in an individual. Studies have shown that people who struggle with gambling disorders tend to have other psychological problems such as depression, anxiety and substance-use disorders. For example, a survey in Psychological Medicine reported that 96 percent of lifetime compulsive gamblers also met lifetime criteria for one or more of the other psychiatric disorders assessed in the survey. If a significant other or friend in your life suffers from one type of addiction, be aware that that puts them at higher risk for gambling addiction.
Realize You’re Not Alone
It can be difficult for the concerned others of gamblers to come to grips with the situation. They may question their role and feel they are responsible. They may be in disbelief as they learn that bank accounts and retirement savings have been wiped out.
It’s important to know that you’re not alone. With an estimated 6 million of the general population at risk for developing gambling addiction, there are many people who find themselves in the orbit of a gambler. Organizations such as Gam-Anon help and comfort to those affected by someone else’s gambling problem. It provides a way to share experiences, gain strength and create hope in coping with the problem gambler.
Importance of Communication
Frequently, family members are in denial. Some family members, not fully understanding the severity of the situation, think they are helping by bailing out the gambler, yet they are not seeing the ramifications it has for the spouse. Additionally, lack of communication is emotionally straining and isolating for concerned others.
A big part of recovery for both the gambler and family is honesty and trust. The lies and broken trust from the problem gambler can be difficult to repair. However, it’s an essential part of a gambler’s recovery to be honest and to have open communication. Most people benefit from having someone facilitate those initial conversations.
Talking with someone you know about a potential gambling problem can be difficult. It’s important to remember that you can’t stop someone from gambling; only they can make that decision. Choose the right moment to have the conversation and speak in a caring and understanding tone. Make sure you hear what the other person is saying.
For specific advice on how to approach a problem gambler, call the Minnesota gambling helpline at 1-800-333-HOPE to talk with a certified counselor. The helpline operates 24-hours a day, seven days a week. All calls are confidential.
The children of problem gamblers often receive less attention and nurturing at home as a result of the amount of time the parents spend gambling. This can lead to feelings of abandonment, anger or depression, and the children may blame themselves for problems in the home. This can result in the child withdrawing or acting out.
Protecting Assets
Unfortunately, by the time families discover their loved one’s gambling problem, financial losses may already be significant. Bankruptcy or failure to make mortgage payments, car payments, college tuition, etc., may be part of the new reality. Families need to protect themselves before the gambler can deplete their family assets. Limiting or prohibiting access to family assets may be the first necessary step to take if the family hopes to rebound.
Another protection that families can take is the use of software that blocks access to gambling sites. Northstar Problem Gambling Alliance offers one such tool, Gamban, at no cost to Minnesota families who are interested. The subscriptions are effective for one year, can include up to 15 devices per household, and can block tens of thousands of online gambling sites.
Financial Counseling
For families, whose finances have been wracked by a problem gambler, developing a personal financial recovery plan is an important first step. Such a plan should include:
comparison of expense and debt obligations with income
a list of debt (creditor, balance, payment, status and timeline)
devising strategies to change income, change expenses or both when expenses exceed income
identification of a trusted family member or friend to assist management of personal finances
a resource list of current, reliable and free financial references
follow-up consultation with financial counselor during transition to life after treatment program
There is Hope, and Treatment Works
The most important thing to remember if someone close to you has a gambling problem, there is hope —for you and the gambler. Minnesota provides treatment for both gamblers and affected others, usually at no cost. Take the first step by calling the Minnesota gambling helpline at 800-333-HOPE.
For more information about problem gambling in Minnesota, visit northstarpg.org.
