Gambling Addiction
CONCERNED OTHERS
Problem gambling is the Elephant in the Room.
Let’s Talk about it.
It’s not just the gambler with the problem who’s at risk. Families suffer in silence, often too ashamed to confront the elephant in the room. For every gambler, eight to ten others experience gambling- related harms.
FAMILIES AND CONCERNED OTHERS OF THOSE LIVING WITH GAMBLING ADDICTION
Family, friends and co-workers may experience the negative impacts of one’s addiction long before the gambler seeks help, if they do at all. Families often express disbelief and shock when they learn their family member has gambled away their life savings. In addition to the financial impact, families may also feel intense shame as a result of the loved one’s gambling addiction.
In Minnesota, help is available for families with someone who has a gambling addiction, usually at no cost. Families may seek 12 hours per year with a state–approved counselor, regardless of whether the gambler seeks counseling. They may also seek free help through the Financial Choice services of LSS Financial Counseling.
Get the Support You Need.
Confidential Financial Counseling.
We understand that problem gambling can strain finances. That’s why we’ve partnered with Lutheran Social Services counselors to provide a valuable, no-cost resource for those experiencing financial issues from gambling, whether you are the gambler or a family member: Financial Choice services through LSS Financial Counseling.


If you’re in a safe relationship, start the conversation.

If you have children, talk with them with age-appropriate explanations.



Seek help. No-cost counseling is available to families. Find a provider near you or use telehealth services.

Two voluntary, self-exclusion tools for online gambling sites.
Gamban is a tool enables the gambler to block tens of thousands of online gambling sites on all devices. MNAPG has purchased one-year subscriptions that can block up to 15 devices in one household. If you are interested, please email sstucker@mnapg.org and a link will be provided to set up the account.
BetBlocker helps you, or those you care about, ensure that they can manage their access to gambling in a safe and appropriate manner. Whether that means restricting altogether, or limiting during periods of vulnerability, BetBlocker can help. Visit www.betblocker.org to download this free app.
Families can begin to protect themselves before the gambler depletes the family assets. Limiting or prohibiting access to family assets may be the first necessary step to take if the family hopes to rebound.
Develop a Personal Financial Recovery Plan to include:
- comparison of expense and debt obligations with income,
- creating a debt list (balance, payment, status and timeline),
- devising strategies to change income, change expenses or both when expenses exceed income,
- identifying trusted family member/friend to assist management of personal finances,
- allowing for follow-up telephone consultation with financial counselor during transition/re-entry to life after treatment program.
MNAPG and LSS Financial Services have teamed up to offer 6 free sessions for those who need some help due to gambling issues.
A Minnesota statewide financial resource center
Need Help Paying Bills
Workbook for Download
Personal Financial Strategies for Loved Ones of Problem Gamblers Handbook, National Endowment for Financial Education, 2000.
Minnesota Financial Counseling Resources
Gamblers seeking a debt management plan can work with either of these credit counseling centers in Minnesota:
Families and affected others need to understand that they cannot fix the person with a gambling addiction. Even if they try to blame you, their addiction is not your fault. They need to take responsibility for themselves and their own well-being. What concerned others want most of all is to relate to people who understand what they are going through. Seeking out a Gam-Anon group could prove to be a helpline for the family.
Treatment is also available for family members even if the gambler chooses not to seek treatment. Call the MN Problem Gambling Helpline at 1-800-333-HOPE or text “HOPE” to 53342.
1. DENIAL PHASE
- Makes excuses for gambling
- Considers gambling temporary
- Assumes gambling is socially accepted
- Accepts increased gambling
- Enjoys rewards from gambling: gifts, trips, time together, share winnings
- Questions unpaid bills
- Keeps concerns to self
- Easily reassured
- Accepts remorse of gambler
- Experiences relief when finances improve
2. STRESS PHASE
- Spouse spends less time with family
- There are more arguments
- Spouse feels rejected
- Attempts made to control gambling
- Bailouts provided
- Feels isolated
- Bills are late
- Loss of intimacy experienced
- There is insecurity about future
3. EXHAUSTION PHASE
- Intense resentment
- Confusion
- Impaired thinking
- Physical symptoms
- Immobilization
- Rage
- Doubts about sanity
- Anxiety and panic
4. HOPELESSNESS PHASE
- Suicidal thoughts and attempts
- Arrests
- Divorce
- Increased alcohol consumption
- Emotional breakdown
- Withdrawal symptoms
MNAPG Partners with LSS Financial Counseling
MNAPG partners with LSS Financial Counseling to help individuals and families affected by gambling disorder regain financial stability. READ MORE
The WAGER: Rwandan study indicates existing family dysfunction can elevate risks of gambling harms.
What are the psychosocial correlates of gambling problems? Does family dysfunction moderate the relationship among gambling problems and negative outcomes, including drug misuse, alcohol dependence, anti-social behavior, and poor sleep quality? READ MORE
In Their Own Words – Diane’s Story
The story of Diane, the wife of someone with a gambling problem, illustrated the struggle of a concerned other and how the couple survived a gambling addiction. READ MORE
Coping with Another Person’s Gambling Problem
A paid article appearing in the Star Tribune, along side a digital ad. Coping with Another Person’s Gambling Problem By...
EFFECTS OF gambling addiction ON FAMILIES AND THE COMMUNITY
GAMBLING ADDICTION IS A PUBLIC HEALTH ISSUE. Why? It not only impacts the individual gambler, but results in harms to families, friends, work colleagues and the overall community. As gambling expands with online gaming and sports betting, more and more people have easy access to gambling and potential to experiencing harms through gambling and risk potential harms.
Gambling problems can have profound impacts on the family. Families are often shocked to learn how much money has been lost. Some relationships do not survive a gambling addiction, while other families struggle through difficulties and work to grow stronger together.
Family members should avoid making important decisions about family relationships while under stress. Given that people can and do recover from gambling addiction, counseling can help you explore your options and determine what is best for you and your family.
Living with a loved one’s gambling problem can be emotional and stressful. The following are normal reactions that can enable the gambler or help to hide the problem:
- A desire to be perfect or “pick up the slack”
- Feeling the need to keep everyone happy and show them they are not the cause of the problems
- Rebelling to draw negative attention away from the gambler
- Expressing apathy, withdrawal or isolation
- Trying to make the gambler feel guilt or shame
- Being defensive
- Making apologies to family, friends or coworkers
- Becoming controlling, trying to set limits physically or emotionally on the gambler
- Blaming the gambler
- Falling into severe depression
As you try to sort out your reactions, begin by thinking about the effect another person’s gambling is having on your life. And remember, help is available for family members who are close to a problem gambler.
If you think you are depressed or overly anxious, speak to your family doctor or other health care professional. Be sure to tell them about the gambling problem.
Physical and Emotional Abuse
Domestic violence happens most often when families are in crisis. Gambling problems can lead to the physical or emotional abuse of a partner, parent or child. If this is happening in your family, seek help right away.
Since gambling and gambling-related activities are frequently carried out during work hours, coworkers are often in the best position to spot employees with gambling problems.
The workplace is primarily affected through lost time, lost productivity and, in desperate situations, the gambler may resort to theft.
Signs of a possible gambling problem in the workplace:
- Work performance deteriorates as the person is preoccupied, has trouble concentrating, is absent or late for meetings and misses assignment deadlines.
- There are frequent unexplained absences or disappearances from work.
- The person is eager to organize and participate in betting opportunities.
- Pay is requested in lieu of vacation time and large blocks of vacation time are not taken.
- The gambler frequently borrows money and may argue with co-workers about money owed to them.
- The person complains about mounting debts.
- Excessive personal calls are made.
- Mood swings take place from winning and losing streaks.
- Credit card or loan bills are mailed to work rather than home.
- More time is spent gambling during lunch hours and coffee breaks.
- False claims are made against expense accounts.
- Theft of company property takes place.
Gambling addiction should be acknowledged in one’s employee assistance plan. Human Resources departments should have further information.
For every individual with a gambling addiction the lives of at least seven other people are adversely affected. Parents, spouses, brothers, sisters, children, employers and fellow employees must deal with the impact of gambling addiction. There can be significant social impacts resulting from gambling addiction which can generate “hard” economic costs for states, communities and individuals.
The National Council on Problem Gambling estimates that gambling addiction carries an annual cost of $7 billion in bankruptcy, co-occurring disorders and crime.
Other impacts on the community include:
- domestic violence, neglect of children and family and senior abuse,
- relationship break-ups/divorce,
- job loss, unemployment,
- debt, bankruptcy,
- eviction-forced home sales or foreclosure,
- embezzlement, fraud, check forgery,
- crime, arrest, incarceration,
- poor physical and mental health, and suicide.
Gambling addiction causes severe financial, emotional, social and sometimes physical problems for the gambler and their family. Coping with the negative consequences of gambling addiction can be overwhelming, leading to feelings of shame, guilt and hopelessness.
The National Council on Problem Gambling has reported that about 20% of those diagnosed with disordered gambling attempt suicide – a higher percentage than any other addictive disorder. Family members of people with gambling problems are also at a higher risk of suicide for many of the same reasons. Some studies suggest that the worse the addiction, the more likely it is that the gambler will attempt suicide.
If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, call the national suicide helpline number at 1-800-273-8255, call the Minnesota Problem Gambling Helpline at 1-800-333-HOPE or text “HOPE” to 53342.
Communication between and within families
Frequently, family members are in denial. Some may think they are helping by bailing out the gambler without seeing the ramifications it has for the spouse or children. Additionally, lack of communication is an emotional strain and isolating for concerned others.
Social implications
Unfortunately, there continues to be a lot of shame and stigma about gambling disorder. Families are reluctant to discuss the situation openly and honestly. Keeping this secret is yet another stress. One way to alleviate some of the stress is connecting with a trusted community elder or faith leader, who can offer support in a safe space.
Honesty
Most benefit from having someone facilitate those initial conversations. Family counseling is available at no cost in Minnesota, even if the gambler refuses to seek help.
To start a conversation:
- Choose a time when there are no distractions and it’s a comfortable place to have a conversation.
- Let the gambler know you care about them and tell them you’re concerned about how they’re acting.
- Explain exactly what they have done that concerns you.
- Share how their behavior is affecting other people – be specific about what you expect from them (“I want you to talk to someone about your gambling”) and what they can expect from you (“I won’t cover for you anymore”).
- After you’ve shared your observations and feelings, allow them to respond. Listen with a non-judgmental attitude
- Let them know you are willing to help, but don’t try to counsel them yourself.
- Provide information, not advice.
Next steps:
- Encourage the family member to take positive steps to deal with their gambling.
- Make steps to seek counseling. Call 1-800-333-HOPE and/or attend a help group (Gambler’s Anonymous, SMART Recovery, etc.)
- Consider asking the gambler to self-exclude from local gambling venues
- If online gambling is an issue, get a free subscription to Gamban or BetBlocker.
- Consider a True Link credit card to protect spending.
- Seek financial consultation or counseling. Free financial counseling for families affected by person with a gambling problem can also get help through the Financial Choice services of LSS Financial Counseling.
- Families are eligible for free counseling in Minnesota, whether or not the gambler is willing to seek help. Call the Minnesota Problem Gambling Helpline at 1-800-333-HOPE or text “HOPE” to 53342.
Tools and Resources
Families should seek financial counseling, with or without the gambler, as they need to protect themselves. Here are some things families can do:

Develop a financial plan which compares expenses and debt with income

Limit the gambler’s access to credit. Apply for credit in your name only

Limit the gambler’s access to cash; create daily limits

Investigate other financial tools that can help to protect the family and their assets

Develop strategies to address financial limitations

Identify debt list
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SELF-HELP PUBLICATIONS
View, download or order a hard copy below (These are meant to be supplemental guides, not a replacement for therapy)
- Your First Step to Change, 2nd Edition. A self-help toolkit of resources to help start the journey toward recovery from problem gambling behavior.
- Personal Financial Strategies for the Loved Ones of Problem Gamblers
BROCHURES
- Warning Signs of Problem Gambling (English, Spanish, Chinese, Hmong and Vietnamese)
- What Families Can Do When a Loved One has a Gambling Problem (English and Spanish)
- What is Problem Gambling? (English, Somali and Spanish)
- Gambling When in Recovery (English and Spanish)
- Gaming Disorder (English and Spanish)
- Gamban—Block Access to Your Devices (English and Spanish)
- Lower Risk Gambling Guidelines
- Older Adults and Gambling
- Talking to Your Child About Gaming
(English, Spanish, Chinese, Hmong, Lao and Vietnamese) - Youth and Gambling—What Parents Need to Know
BROCHURES for professionals
- Be Part of the Solution (English and Spanish)
- Why Screen for Gambling Disorder? (English and Spanish)
Newsletter
- Northern Lights - MNAPG Quarterly Newsletter